Momp Gomp
The Momp Gomp is a religious publication written by Prophet Ahenobarbus and Chief Anadogga. It tells the stories and teachings of Moopy Goopy, and the respective religion Moopy Goopyism. Teachings Appendix 1: The Creation * First there was nothing, then there was Moopy Goopy Appendix 2: The 7 Decrees of Woke * Transgendas ain’t real, but the media be pumpin that shit; lesbians ain’t real, but the porn industry pumpin that shit; gays ain’t real, but my dad be pumpin that shit * Alex Jones is infallible, and all that he speaks is true * Obama is a fidget spinner turning all the frogs gay * Communism is the Earth’s greatest evil; The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money. * Pregnant pussy is the best pussy. It's always wet cause the baby be spitting on ur dick. The baby be sucking ur dick while u fuckin its mom. * The Earth’s magnum opus is the great work “Who Do You Love?” by Bo Diddley * Moon not real, earth flat, women property Appendix 3: The Lesser Gods * Bomb King, the god of Bombs * Alex Jones, the god of Knowledge * Giga REDACTED, the god of Strength * Jeremy Bowman(Bobo), the god of Good Decisions and Respecting Adults * Donald Trump, the god of Covfefe * King Obunka, the god of Obunka Care * Nick Brown, the god of Socialism Appendix 4: The Lesser Demons * Al’Goro, the demon of Violence * 666hailsatan666, the demon of Blasphemy * HIllary Clinton, the demon Women * Shinobi Jones, the demon of Bad Music * Goopy Moopy, the demon of Deceit * SuperKheaters, the demon of Nuclear Power * Alex Derbogosian the demon of Lust * Galileo, the demon of Lies * Riley Modestino the demon of the disabled * LGBTGayPride, the demon of gay Appendix 5: The Great Demon As Moopy Goopy’s failed nut struck the earth, half of it was mixed with oil, thus birthing Demon Lord Zeraxos, Moopy Goopy’s arch nemesis. Zeraxos went on to form the Zeraxians whose noteworthy members include 666hailsatan666, and Water Lord El Guapo. Proverbs of Moopy Goopy * “When fuck but up the nut bust she suckin nigfag” * “When u gurl go spaghetti on u phat chode” * “We out here” * “Y’all REDACTEDs tryna throw hands? Ma REDACTED I’m stanced up” * “MA REDACTED ALEX JONES GON BE IN MA HOOD PRAYERS TONIGHT @RealAlexJones I LOVE U MA REDACTED” * “Plz no inappropriate accounts to be liking my pictures or following me” * “I pull him deeper into my mouth so I can feel him at the back of my throat and then to the front again. My tongue swirls around the end. He’s my very own Moopy Goopy-flavored popsicle. I suck harder and harder … Hmm … My inner goddess is doing the merengue with some salsa moves.” * “Can’t Touch My Doritos #canttouchmydoritos” * “JUST OMNE LAST CKISS BEFORE I WALK MOOPY GOOPY IM GONNA TELL YOU SOMETHING THAT I NEVER DID BEFORE, AND I I CANT PROMISE YOU THE THANGS YOU PROMISED ME AND I I CANT JUSTIFY THE MOooOPY GOooOPY CUZ THE GOOD TIMES ARE THE BEST TIMES, THE BAD TIMES FADE AWAY, THE GOOD TIMES ARE FOREVER BUT NOW MOOPY, THE LAST GOOP IS TODAAAAAY, omne last ckiss” * “This song’s about eatin ass, and I am going to skip my class.” * “REDACTED this is the 15th motherfucking time That I called and left your ass messages I done text your bitch ass And you ain't responding to nothin' What the fuck is you doing Who the fuck is you out there with You think I'm stupid My girls already done put me up on your ass tonight When you get home I got some news for your bitch ass Riskay Why you comin' home 5 in the morn' Something's going on, can I smell yo dick? Don't play me like a fool, cause that ain't cool So wat u need to do is lemme smell yo dick (x2) 1: Riskay It's 4 oclock and I'm sleepin It's late night and u creepin You coulda told me, "I'm leaving" Now I know your out there cheatin Why you gotta do me like that When I call u don't call me back I'm texting u, like REDACTED where u at That's fucked up, why u do me like that 2: Aviance I'm dead sleepin', you trickin' In the club with dirty foot bitches My girl was there and she witness She had a camera phone, she took pictures You was on the dance floor grindin' With a stripper ho named Diamond You was flossin' hard, you was shinnin' Everything she drank, you buying Fuck REDACTED you need to stop lying Before I get mad and pull out my nine You want a new bitch to fuck, then that's fine But don't fuck hers, then try to fuck mine You keep tellin' me "you ain't touch her" But some keep tellin' me you done fucked her And I ain't that bitch, you want to play with REDACTED drop them boxers, let me smell your dick Hey, hey Smell my dick? Wait a minute hold up See that's how a bitch get'er eye swole'up And I don't give a damn wat your homegirl seen When I was in the club, what the fuck u mean They ain't got no bisnuz, eyein' me like dat You ain't got no bisnuz, tryin me like dat I wan't even feelin Diamond like dat I was wildin', but I wunt clownin like dat That's allright, that's okay Gon head believe wat your homegirl say A REDACTED like me, drink alot of liquor Meet alot bitches, take a lot of pictures I might break bread, with one or two strippaz But that don't mean u gotta pull ma zippa Thinking I dick down the whole town Even though I got dick to go around (round... round)” * “Oh yes it’s ladies night, oh what a night” Impact The Momp Gomp created the religion of Moopy Goopyism, which contrasted with the religion of Hablijiism. Similarly, it created the spin-off religion Zeraxism, following the teachings of Demon Lord Zeraxos. The Moopy Reformation As the faith aged, scholars, theologians and clerics began to question the basic tenets of Moopy Goopyism. For instance, Enlightened Decree 5 was questioned with the question of the millennium: “What if the baby’s a boy? That’s gay.” another: “Why is it called the ‘Momp Gomp’, not the ‘Moop Goop’?” Category:JCO Category:Moopy Goopyism